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M>BH D307

Im not sure if I mentioned it before and I am too lazy to go back and check out the past convos. But last February Snarky and I fought hard, things were coming to a head again something that happened shortly after Little Bear was born in 2015, I went back to work after my maternity leave ended and I had so many problems with management and the warehouse lead and I knew my days were numbered there. From my point of view the warehouse lead saw me as competition because I took my job seriously and I did my best to make things easier between the counter people and the warehouse people and she hated that I was making efforts to ease their work burden and she did get after me many times telling me that I need to make them do their work and just focus on my work, but I was doing mine and had enough time to do theirs well, and even if they had time to do their warehouse work they never did. The entire time I worked there they rarely ever did their warehouse work which only meant more work for
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D.044\13

I recently came across a list of 50 questions that inspire deep thinking. I took time in answering all the questions and came to realize, I am an odd person. I believe that astrology is guidelines of your life that God gives you. I am a Gemini, and as such my charts describe me to a T. It can be bad when trying to conform to societal norms, but it makes me Me. Answering these questions also helped me realize how much I love Amore Mio, and how much I have changed to be with him. 1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? I’d be forever young. I have always had a need for adventure, an insatiable wanderlust and it’s led to some good times in my past, some scary times, but they always ended up nicely. I know that can’t last forever though. 2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? I believe never trying is the worse. From failure you learn, success, not so much. But if you never try than you stagnate and that’s toxic to everyone’s way of life. 3. If life is so
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D.215\12

D.215\12 So I drank enough last night to loosen my tongue but not too much that I couldn't remember what I talked about. On our way back home I asked Ragazzo what he wanted, because he says he didn't like that woman from the other night at Lowe's who just got into the truck and left the older man to do the heavy lifting. But then again all the women he's dated and been interested in we're the skinny girls who are normally very girly-girl. He explained that he liked the women in the middle- that all his exes use to be in the middle. They would be girly but also wouldn't mind heavy lift and dirty work. But after a time they would change and just want to be girly-girls and not do any work. Even his exwife changed and her father would get after her for it as well. I countered with- well everything and everyone changes, as much as women say they don't want to be apart of the old type gender roles, when they are in long termed committed relationships they norma
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D.214\12

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Tonight is APA, I told Gina that I'd wear a dress today. But that is not until tonight. I need to cut the branches with the reciprocating blade but I'm tired and I am feeling lazy. I know I have to do a lot of this work on the backyard, seeing as it is my idea. I'm still shocked that Ragazzo is doing a lot of this work, I thought he would have supported the ideas but left all the work to me. I'm so happy that he is helping with most of this heavy lifting. So last night we were at Lowe's and while we were waiting for the blocks to be brought out to the truck two people, a older couple, came out with some heavy lifting items. The woman went directly to the truck cab and got in leaving the guy to load the items himself. Ragazzo made a comment saying she was lazy and I pointed out that most women are that way. He said he knew, but still didn't like it. I'm not a girly-girl, never have been. Sometimes I do like to dress up, but even then I'm a tomboy th
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D.213\12

So I want to build up the southern wall and create the succulent garden, I made the measurements today. 13' 8" long by 32" high roughly 50 bricks, since some need to stick out. 50 bricks at home depot cost about $1.14 so the whole wall will cost about $57 for the bricks plus the cost of the mortar. That is about $5 for 80lbs and Ragazzo says we need about 3 bags, so $15 so about $72-$75 for this complete project. I can afford that. The next project is the retaining wall, initially I was thinking railroad ties, but those are fucking expensive!!!! So I will build it with concrete blocks like the wall. This retaining wall will be 28' from the southern wall then turn towards the house and continue for another 9'. S that roughly 84 bricks then turn and an additional 28 bricks for a total of 112 bricks roughly $130.  Now, from this retaining wall I want to build another shade structure. It will start at the flower bed (roughly 3'-4' from the souther
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D.209\12

Il Ragazzo left for Taos this morning, he's working with a new job, and that is great, he started a few days ago. He is a lot less stressed, which means a lot more relaxed Ragazzo for kitty to play with. So I lost all the measurements that I had for the backyard. But after I took the measurements the first time Ragazzo bought a Bosch laser measure-er. I love this thing!! Best to use it at night when it's easier to spot the damned little red dot. I was able to remeasure the whole backyard in a just a few minutes. With Ragazzo out in Taos I don't know what to do with myself. I don't like being alone here, I miss him so much. But I am also happy that he is off working, and making money. But sleeping alone is lonely, I'm shocked at how quickly I adapted to being with him and... Kinds maybe, sorta, depending on him to have my back. Kinda pains me to admit that I need help, or want help... But I love him, and want him around me. But, for the next few months I have
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D.207\12

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I don't want to be getting my hopes high, but my period is late... Again. Granted sometimes it just comes late, but last night Ragazzo and I were getting ready to have some fun and he asked if I had started yet, I said no and he said that was a little cause for concern "because you usually start about this time don't you?" it made me stop to think, I never really think about this stuff, it kinda startles me that he remembers these things when even I don't. Not just my cycle, but also little things- or rather things that are 'little' to me which could be big to other people. He remembers the night we first had sex which he counts to be the night that we officially started going out. Every month, on the 13th, he says "happy anniversary". He even made me a little crudely made dog tag with my name on one side and 41312 on the other side. He didn't like it much, said it came out wrong, but I adore it. I took it and want to put it on m
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