girlfriends, boyfriends, cooking and kids

That's Paulie and Ayden on a vlog. Love Ayden, he's just so adorable! Logan is great too, Logan is 6 and today has to be one of the best memories I have thus far!! So Logan, Paulie and Webs and I are outside after dinner, kicking back some drinks, jamming to some tunes and playing with a spanish frisbee- really fucking cool -and Logan runs into the rocks to grab the disc and hops back saying he's got a rock on his foot and reaches down to pull it out only to reveal a goatheat- instantly busts out crying! I was trying so hard not to laugh but jesus it was funny! Was hopping around for like 30 seconds before crying! At least it got him to realize that's why mommy and daddy say "wear youre shoes outside!" Ah well, it was a fun night, Paulie made dinner tonight, Webs is looking a lot better from the other night when she was sick (as in yesterday) she's still not 100% but still. I read Logan his bed time story, told him about Doctors in the 15th century and about my necklace before putting him to bed. It was a great night, and tomorrow i'm taking them hiking (Paulie and Logan) at whitewash.

This has been the best Saturday I've had in such a long time. So many times I had to keep reminding myself it was only Saturday. I love this. But now, lime ice cream, Full Metal Alchemist and then bed time. Long day tomorrow, and I can't wait to start it!

to days to come



Even though they tip over the garbage can, chew on shoes, shed like there’s no tomorrow and drool all over my nice work clothes (when I dare to bring them out) I have to say that owning dogs is a great blessing. Mainly for the things they don’t even know they are doing.

This morning about 2:45 I heard gun fire and explosions, I jolted awake into the deafening silence, daring not to move, not to breath for fear of being shot- but the fear quickly abated when I noticed the dogs. Still asleep, snoring, whimpering- Artie, or muffled barking- Ahriman. I felt my heart racing, could feel a cold sweat and I shivered. A dream then… As long as they don’t freak out, I won’t freak out- barring bad nightmares. I still get chills when I think about that nightmare with Volpe, and every time I see him around the work building I smile- yeah sure he’s handsome- always did have a thing for redheads- but it’s just good to know he’s still alive. What’s worse- waking up screaming or crying, or waking up and having to tell yourself for hours “it’s only a dream, it was only a dream, everything is going to be okay.”

Give me gunfire, explosions and beheadings any day.

But anyways, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. You’d think with these many nightmares it’d be a bit easier, Owl Woman sure thinks it would be. Maybe I’ll find an inspiring prompt today- maybe… maybe I should just work on my homework ^__^ it’s due final draft tonight, and I won’t have much time at work to work on it. Leaving at 3 to go get Logan from school today.

My motorcycle is finally ready, now I am just waiting for AC to write up my bill, then Paulie is giving me a ride out to get my baby.

To days to come,



Have you ever closed your eyes and fallen into REM sleep so fast that when you jolt awake- still paralyzed, freaking out, you could swear on whatever is dear to you that you were asleep for hours and hours and just want to be awake now... only to find out it's only been about 15 minutes?

I was standing in the dark, pitch black, the absolute absence of light. Someone screamed and I felt a cold chill run up my spine. I stood stock still, my heart racing, so loud I was afraid whoever was out there could hear it pounding against my chest. Every cell in my body was screaming- Run! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! So loudly that maybe it was someone actually screaming it.... and still, I stood still. Was I paralyzed with fear? Was I afraid that 'they' would know my location if I moved? Was I waiting to see how things played out? Another scream, this one louder, closer. Whatever it was it was closing in. I could hear foot steps, but even they sounded weird. It wasn't a bipedal coming after me, it has four distinct footsteps, muted, but still so distinctive. Like a hardpad dog on tile, and from the sound this creature was big- and I am not talking great dane or mastiff or wolf big... This sounded like a hound from hell- and though it's still black, in my mind I can see the pitch black creature with eyes so full of hell they drip fire and set the ground alight. With breath so rank of death and fire and brimstone that it scalded the flesh from the bone. With nails that click individually on the floor with every footstep: tap-tap-tap-tap... tap-tap-tap-tap.... tap-tap-tap-tap.... tap-tap-tap-tap... it's getting closer, I feel it. My soul is screaming, my mind rebels and finally I rush away taking a step in a direction I think is open and clear- only to feel the hard body of this hellhound, it's breath on my neck, burning, searing- I scream and...

jolt awake, fall out of bed.

fuck. I hate these nights.

ooh, afterthought-
and i hate that i dont remember where i got this:
"Razors pain you,
rivers are damp,
acid stains you,
and drugs give you cramps,
Guns aren't lawful,
nooses gives,
gas smells aweful,
you might as well live."