Friday

D.147.11

I saw some reviews on a few places to drink:

Apothecary Louge:
not cheap, dress code, but located on top of a haunted old hospital! I badly want someone to go with me, dress up and just have a good time! Of course that means finding a dress... oh I do so ever LOVE playing pretend!!!

Charlie's Back Door:
cheap, dark, hole-in-the-wall place that boasts a Scottish/New Mexico theme. God I wanna go but I hate attending places alone.

I was thinking of taking the Dumb-dumb with me, but seriously, if I talk to him again I think I might sucker punch him into the next century. I don't wanna ask Little Bit, Bear is out of state, Dragonfly is busy, Little John will get the wrong impression, Henny's wife won't let him, Rabbit is depolyed, Buu is back in Callie... v.v

so I am thinking a Strictly Platonic post on CL.

I just want a drinking buddy!! Chat, text or whatever, but maininly..... Oh... I forgot about Princess Di... I wonder if she'd have the money to go with me because I sure as shit don't want to be paying for someone else's drinks- ya know, unless it was someone I cared about, which really is only about 2 or 3 people.

oh my tummy hurts.

and i've got homework to finish.

ok.

To days to come,
/ac

Wednesday

i dont know - Nightmares

She hugged herself against the cold chill that crept up her body though a warm wind swam past her.

"I don't want to hear it anymore." she said to the man following her.

He stopped, his red hair spiking up in the wind and he frowned. "But I'm here now," he pleaded. "I'm here, and I love you. I've always loved you, I knew I loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you." He smiled fondly at the memory. "You were lying there in my bed, curled up against a pillow, your body contorted in a way much like a cat that I assumed couldn't have been comfortable. You were beautiful, are beautiful, and I thought 'it's not right, it can't be true, the world doesn't stop spinning and time doesn't stop when you meet someone.' But it did when I saw you, and you had my heart. I brushed your hair away from your eyes as you slept, you turned into my touch and smiled, and at that moment you affectedly had my soul as well."

She shook with un-spilled tears, shaking her head to dislodge the memories from the past. "No, it's different now. You made your choice, you left and you can't come back."

"But-"

"How do you think this feels for me!?" She spun around, venom in her voice aimed to kill and she thought briefly on exactly how thin the line was between love and hate. "Six years!" she hurled at him. "Six years with no word, with no contact with nothing! Six years and I was FINALLY forgetting the angles of your body, the softness of your hair, the feel of your lips against my own, the feel of your fingers-" she sobbed and turned away. "You left and I broke, and I've been trying so hard to fix myself."

"But..." he sighed. "But I'm here now." he licked his lips. "I'm here, and I... I love you. Isn't that enough?"

She snorted and curled her lips in a bitter upward motion. "It would have been," she turned enough for him to see her vicious smile. "But that was a long time ago." And warmed by her hate she left him standing in the dark.



---------------


"You can be a kind person sometimes, and a generous person sometimes.... but I've known you your whole life, and I've never known you to be a forgiving person."

Some days I wish to whatever g-d will listen that my nightmares just stay in the realm of demons, monsters, of wandering endlessly in the darkness or running through an empty city, or over the plains under a starless sky.... but these.... these i fear i am not strong enough to handly....

to days to come- all my love to long ago....
/ac

Monday

D.143.11

Ah goodness, it’s been a while since I’ve written. What a time it’s been. The casita is being built out, when it is finished I’ll post the pictures of its phases. Saturday was spent painting the casita build out and Sunday was spent hiking with my cousins- a well work out, but I made newbie mistakes and suffered for it. Every time I go hiking I always go off trail, so I always expect to come back battered, bruised and scraped, that’s nothing new. But stupidly I went in a skirt and because I couldn’t spread my legs enough to get a good grip on a boulder (wow my mind hit the gutter as soon as I typed that out) I lost my footing and my holding and I fell backwards. Caught myself on a edge but off centered and fell back down another ledge. Jarred my right leg and got a huge bruise on the bottom of my heel. Ouch. Then while stepping into water isn’t too bad, I didn’t dry my shoes out like I should have and ended up chaffing my big toe so bad I got 4 blister, 2 each at the base of both big toes!!

But moving on…

Outlander is a fantastic book. I haven’t been able to put it down!! It’s inspired me to write another ad for CL personals and to update the one I have on okcupid.com.
Maybe I’ll have better luck.

To days to come,
/ac

Wednesday

D.138.11


John sat at his desk, the past two weeks had been so slow at work that feared losing his job. All the interns did really, but he needed this job badly. The Iraqi war had taken a lot out of him and in the past year of being home this was the longest job he’d been able to retain. They were good to him, allowing his therapy dog to come to work with him; of course it wasn’t like they could really say no, a service dog is a service dog. Duke was laying on the floor, shoulder pushed into his calf reassuringly, always keeping the darkness at bay.

“Did you get those inventory sheets done, John?” a voice over his shoulder asked.

“Their in your inbox Gracie,” he responded to the young woman sitting at the desk behind him. “I did them four hours ago.” He smirked and felt a wad of crumpled paper hit his shoulder and he chuckled. “Are you still reading that book?”

“No,” she said coyly and then snickered. “I have not read it all day, I have no progressed half way through it, Black Jack is not killing the rouges and Irene is not falling desperately in love with him.”

“Well, you know what they say about women who read romance novels,” he sighed and though he didn’t look back at her, he knew she was glaring daggers at him. He shrugged, “I didn’t do the scientific study, Gracie, I just read it.”

Another wad of paper hit him.

They fell back into silence and John went back to the inventory to recheck it, yet again. It was still two hours from the end of the day and time was dragging by like a fish out of water.

dit-dit dah-dah

John tapped his pencil on the desk.

dah-dit-dit-dit dah-dah-dah- dit-dah-dit dit dah-dit-dit
John sighed heavily and repeated his tapping.

“I don’t care that you’re bored,” Gracie hissed after a minute. “Stop that tapping. Or at least stop repeating yourself.”

John blinked. “Excuse me?”

Gracie groaned under her breath and grabbed her pencil to tap on the desk back.

dit-dit dah-dit-dah dah-dit dah-dah-dah dit-dah-dah dah-dit-dah-dit dah-dah-dah dah-dit-dit dit

I know code

John spun around in his chair. “I think I love you!”

Gracie laughed and went back to reading.


~~~~~
I am not fluent in code, but I remember I was in study hall once, sitting in the far back and this guy a few desks over was tapping on his desk. It was so annoying until I realized it was just random tapping. Dit-dit-dit dah-dah-dah dit-dit-dit  I had to think on that for a moment then realized S O S so I tapped back dah-dit dah-dah-dah N O he burst out laughing and nearly got in trouble. I think his name was Josh, he was a cool guy. I had forgotten about code and that memory for a long time. This morning I found a sight that is helping me understand morse code better. Why? No reason really, I’m bored. Monday was the last day for violin lessons, Tuesday was the last knitting class and while I do have finals to study for, and homework to do and still violin to practice, I something new to learn. Morse Code is a language all in itself, so I figured why not. I got a few websites to help me out and a couple of applications on my phone to help me memorize it. When would I ever need any of this? I doubt I ever will, but who knows.

To days to come,
/ac

Monday

D.136.11

I got this picture of Artie some time ago, but just recently found it again. She is learning the command "hold this" and when I saw this it reminded me of a trend I saw back in my high school days where teenagers had binkies. I remember thinking, 'whats up with that?', people and their trends, very odd.

Anyways, today is my last violin class until I get the money to go again. So expensive, but well worth it. Calluses are starting to form on my index and middle finger but I am so happy that I am finally learning that nothing like that matters. When I was growing up I always chewed my fingernails, I do not know what started it, but as an end result of having ‘cannibalized’ the fingers the nail bed suffered so that it’s short and always will be short. This makes it look very weird when the nails are growing out and for the longest time I hated it. But now it’s a tremendous help. I have heard of violinist breaking their strings because their nails are too long, even when they cut them all the way down to the nail bed, their nail beds are so long that it still interferes- granted a lot of people work around this and never have any problems, but I find it a big help for myself personally. I am not aiming to be a world’s best violinist- I just want to play to be able to bring music into my life. I am happy with that.

I am nearly done with my hat that I am knitting. If I didn’t have Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood to play I probably would be done already. But that game is so addicting! I’m currently trying to kill 20 French guards without being detected and it’s tough. Granted it would probably be easier if I didn’t keep drinking whilst trying to accomplish this task but still. And then the final game of this series is coming out this autumn!! I can hardly wait!!! W00T!!!

Also, Doctor Who has me in a tizzy with all the theories running rampant through my head. That is a fascinating storyline they have arcing all over the place.

But, anyways, my head still hurts, I am mega tired and I need to work more.

To days to come,
/ac

Wednesday

D.131.11

Okay I am really loving knitting! I already have so many ideas in my head about what I want to make next- in fact I am thinking about just buying a bunch of needles and starting multipal projects. How very ADD of me.

One such project is a poncho like the one below, notes, this is taken from
http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEfall03/PATTponcho.html
THIS IS NOT MY WORK- but it is fantastic.




I was thinking about making it Tardis Blue, just one tone, and then stitching on a green moon and some a felt cat or two. If my sister wants it I'll give it to her but I'm not mentioning it to her just yet.

Another idea is a Christmas stocking hat like below. But mine would be long and would have a bell or two attached at the end.
Yet another idea was a tanktop, pretty much just a tube top really nd have the straps able to be buttoned on.

I love all these ideas.

Okay, my back is killing me, and I am hungry. I am off for today.

To days to come,
/ac

Tuesday

D.130.11



My brother just laughed. "It's just not something I saw you doing." and began to walk away and threw over his shoulder "While also taking Violin Lessons... And STILL going to school."

My response- "Meh," with a shrug. "I was bored."

At that he turned around and just looked at me and I can only imagine what's going through his mind....

I spend a lot of time complaining about the instructors at ITT- and seriously, MOST of them are not up to par with what I expected at ITT. But the ones who are good- are really fucking good. They make up for all the shit that is put out by that scuzzy school. So I attend school full time- 3 classes a week, tons of homework, projects, studying and since I procrastinate a lot I do everything in a complex manner... XD

Then there is Violin lessons, Mondays are not good days for free time- I go to work at 730-400, haul tail up to my teachers house and have Violin instructions from 430-515, then haul tail all the way down to class for Statistics from 6-9ish then go home finally.  = Yesterday there was no statistics class and it felt really weird not having to go to class. I woke up all confuzzled this morning.

Tuesdays it's work, then head to the bar for Regina's special treatment, then off to knitting class. Wednesdays are free, Thursdays its sleep in until 8, get to work at 9-530 then high tail it to class from 6 to whenever we et our work done. Friday's are free, Saturday morning is laundry and chat with mom, attend class at 1p-whenever we get our work done then go back to mom and dads. And Sunday is brunch with the family, chill out until 6pm when I go to Billiard's Palace on Wyoming and Meanul to play pool with Turtle and Little Bit.

In my 'free time' I catch up on whatever work is suppose to be done, or I procrastinate by playing with my dogs, gardening, playing assassins creed 2, reading or doing whatever the hell I please.

And I am still bored.

I met a guy the other day, Bumblebee, online first but went to go see him and he's funny. Clever, witty, and a very sarcastic humor, he reminds me a lot of Brobro. I still have a lot of problems in that department, I want a fantastic love life- but part of me just rolls my eyes whenever I start daydreaming like that. 'Come on, seriously, would you ever allow yourself to trust someone that deeply again?' which raises a ton of questions- how does anyone trust someone that implicitly? And how the hell do I let it all go and take that leap of faith?

Always pondering to myself:

trust someone and love them, or keep myself safe, and stay alone- while I hate being alone, I am very good at it. And I haven't seen a reason to really trust anyone that much...

Hmm....

To days to come,
/ac

Wednesday

D.124.11

Okay, time to vent:

Everything has been feeling so very off lately. At Sunday night pool Turtle said out of the younger three I’m the only one with a restless spirit. I have been wanting to leave this place for so long, but I think I am down to the final fray of nerves I have of this place. Single people are slim pickings around here and everyone is boring me. People whom have never bored me before are boring me and I find myself dreaming of just picking up and leaving. I can’t do this anymore, my life is just getting stagnant. There is a ITT in Everett with a PM program. As well as Seattle… I was thinking of applying for a job in Reston, could attend ITT in Springfield but that’s a tad bit too close to Norfolk for me. Couldn’t be around that place, although a man in uniform is strikingly hot, just too close to old memories for me.

and I don’t mean everyone, I just mean people I spend more than 15 minutes with at a time. My boredom is so vast that I am learning to knit for whoever’s sake.

Fuzzy like a dream. My new phone, the Samsung Galaxy S, has a front facing camera for video chat, but I had to put on a screen protector and it didn't have a hole in it for the front camera. Actually the first time I put on the screen protector it didn't work at all, had so much dust and lint caught under it- pissed me off! There are spots on this one too with lint in it but it's not nearly as bad, so I can live with it. Not like I have anyone to video chat with anyways. But makes it easier to take my own picture for all those people who are gr about getting a picture- rabbit, crybaby, idiot...

so bored....

To days to come,
        all my love to long ago.

/ac

Monday

D.122.11

Whoops, it sure has been a while since I've written, I was suppose to be writing every day! Outta sight outta mind eh? Ah well, what can you do about it?



I have seen lots of people with tattoos of black birds on their bodies and I am the sort of person in which every tattoo has a meaning, has a purpose. So I asked a few people what their black birds mean and am just shocked by some of their answers "oh it just looks cool" "black like my soul" (that from a very genteel person who fancied himself a rebel) or they throw some sort of meaning into it that is from a religion or a mythology that isn't in their heritage. Don't get me wrong to each their own, but I still find it ridiculous that there are white people who worship "The Great Spirit" and use sweet grass and sage to 'bless themselves and their homes". But whatever...

For a long time I've been contemplating this tattoo, and because everything has a reason, here is mine. I am KMC, daughter of Owl Woman, a child of the Apsaalooke Nation commonly called the Crow Tribe. But Apsaalooke literally means "children of the large black bird" and Black Birds, whatever they are, are my favorite. And my family is large. So a Black Birds for my family.



Next is a tattoo that will finally cover the blasted date on my wrist. Slinger, my tattoo artist, suggested I try to find Bible verses to attach to the numbers but while I could find 3 14, 8 4 was not successful and neither is the 74. Either way, the 8*4*74 is a date that I've wanted removed from my body for a long time now. As well as the other side 3*14*74 these people are not longer in my life and have no more bearing on me. Ah well... come what may, I am sure something will work out.

For now though I need to work, so I'll update tomorrow and hopefully be more enthused to write.

To days to come,
/ac