Brain Dumps and Mind Thumps

The screaming and gunfire were deafening. The smell of blood, dust sweat and burning human flesh was overwhelming. Down the sight of my scope I saw the subhuman filth running across the street. Explosions surrounded me and a few times some very lucky shots landed in the concrete wall next to my head spitting up dust and rubble; still I didn't move. "Convoy moving up the east end," Jack, my spotter, whispered as another lucky bullet whizzed overhead. "Damn it," he hissed. "Will you please kill that stronzo?" I found said stronzo on top of a building down the alleyway with binoculars looking in our direction. He knew we were here somewhere but hadn't found us yet. I breathed out and squeezed the trigger just as he pinpointed us, dropped the binoculars and began pulling up his AK. His eyes narrow, a look of pure hate distorting his face as my bullet ripped into him, blowing out his lower thoracic vertebrae just blow his sternum. "Target dow

It's been a while since I've written anything; but life is like that. The September term just ended and December term is about to begin. This last term is the closest I have ever gotten to just walking out of ITT. They charge far too much money for sun par education and instructors who are mostly steaming piles of worthless shit!! Granted there are some instructors who go above and beyond what is called of them and they really do care about their students and really do help. I know they exist because I've had them as instructors. In fact it is because of one of these great instructors that I am still at ITT. In the last term of my associates my friend was having a really hard time with life and school and when I helped him out he messed up in a big way. Our case was thrown before the board and we were nearly kicked out but this one instructor stood up in our defense and with support of another instructor we were forgiven and heavily lectured. We didn't even know how muc

So a couple of weekends ago my mom gave Brobro a CD with classical music and he said “Oh, Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture.” I chimed in saying I love that song and mom grabbed the CD back and said he could take the rest but she wanted to hear that now. I told her it was a great song, it ended so perfectly and Brobro said it wasn’t in the end, it was in the middle! So that leads to today, listening to music on my iPod as I wait for my girlfriend to bring my phone to me so I can watch Doctor Who and I came across the 1812 Overture, I knew I had it!!! So I am listening to it and just as it ends with a bang my brother walks in and I turn it up for him. As we were listening to it I said “I know V for Vendetta used this song, but even before that movie, this whole crescendo always made me happy and giddy and I just don’t know why.” “That’s probably because of the firework show we went to when we were young in DC.” I looked at him curiously and he nodded. “Yeah, mom and dad took us to a firework

That's Paulie and Ayden on a vlog. Love Ayden, he's just so adorable! Logan is great too, Logan is 6 and today has to be one of the best memories I have thus far!! So Logan, Paulie and Webs and I are outside after dinner, kicking back some drinks, jamming to some tunes and playing with a spanish frisbee- really fucking cool -and Logan runs into the rocks to grab the disc and hops back saying he's got a rock on his foot and reaches down to pull it out only to reveal a goatheat- instantly busts out crying! I was trying so hard not to laugh but jesus it was funny! Was hopping around for like 30 seconds before crying! At least it got him to realize that's why mommy and daddy say "wear youre shoes outside!" Ah well, it was a fun night, Paulie made dinner tonight, Webs is looking a lot better from the other night when she was sick (as in yesterday) she's still not 100% but still. I read Logan his bed time story, told him about Doctors in the 15th century and ab

Even though they tip over the garbage can, chew on shoes, shed like there’s no tomorrow and drool all over my nice work clothes (when I dare to bring them out) I have to say that owning dogs is a great blessing. Mainly for the things they don’t even know they are doing. This morning about 2:45 I heard gun fire and explosions, I jolted awake into the deafening silence, daring not to move, not to breath for fear of being shot- but the fear quickly abated when I noticed the dogs. Still asleep, snoring, whimpering- Artie, or muffled barking- Ahriman. I felt my heart racing, could feel a cold sweat and I shivered. A dream then… As long as they don’t freak out, I won’t freak out- barring bad nightmares. I still get chills when I think about that nightmare with Volpe, and every time I see him around the work building I smile- yeah sure he’s handsome- always did have a thing for redheads- but it’s just good to know he’s still alive. What’s worse- waking up screaming or crying, or waking up a

Have you ever closed your eyes and fallen into REM sleep so fast that when you jolt awake- still paralyzed, freaking out, you could swear on whatever is dear to you that you were asleep for hours and hours and just want to be awake now... only to find out it's only been about 15 minutes? I was standing in the dark, pitch black, the absolute absence of light. Someone screamed and I felt a cold chill run up my spine. I stood stock still, my heart racing, so loud I was afraid whoever was out there could hear it pounding against my chest. Every cell in my body was screaming- Run! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! So loudly that maybe it was someone actually screaming it.... and still, I stood still. Was I paralyzed with fear? Was I afraid that 'they' would know my location if I moved? Was I waiting to see how things played out? Another scream, this one louder, closer. Whatever it was it was closing in. I could hear foot steps, but even they sounded weird. It wasn't a bipedal coming

That’s what I see you know, in the center of it all- a small child, sitting on a large chair, not daring to move off the chair because it is safe on the chair. The child cannot get into trouble if stays on the chair, the child cannot fuck up, or mess shit up if it just stays on the chair. No one will make fun of the child if it just stays there, on the chair, hiding from everyone because no one can see it now. No one can yell at the child, tell it what it’s messing up again, saying it’s fucking up its life, or always doing it wrong, making so many mistakes, that it’ll never learn… That’s what’s there. In the middle of all the facades, under all the smiles, and the jokes, and the fake apathy. It’s a fucking little child, sitting on a chair, so afraid to get off the chair for fear is doing it wrong, for fear of falling- because no one has ever been there to help the child up, and the child thinks- why would they? No one will ever help a fuck up, no one ever has helped me, and no one ever

I am thinking maybe I should feel a little bad about what I posted on LBs fb… but the truth is, I just can’t. “An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind” but sometimes it’s the only way for people to open their fucking eyes and change! Oh that’s mean… ah well, it’s true. People don’t really change when they don’t think everything is okay, it’s only when they are on the precipice of losing everything   that they find the will the change. Or logic to change. Of course that also contradicts what I believe- and that is that everyone is changing all the time. Every choice you make, every path you take changes you and makes you into someone you were not before. People say they don’t want to change but everyday they are changing; it’s just not always the right way to be changing. And I think that's the point. What LB posted: “Not really caring if I piss you off or hurt your feelings today. I. Just. Don’t. Care.” To which Erin (LB’s ex gf) said “Have I ever told you that you’re SEX

(NOT MY PICTURE: this was sent to me in an email about the Wallow Fire in AZ) It was a good weekend despite some potholes. Friday I wore a dress to work and everyone liked it, might make that a monthly thing. That night I went out for some drinks with Mike at Monte Vista Fire Station, one of my favorite bars, and it was nice. Once it began to get loud and crowded we left and decided to meet up at Billiard’s Palace, another favorite of mine, but Mike never made it. He texted, said he couldn’t find it and didn’t want to get a DWI so he went home. That was fine because as soon as I got there a cute- well, handsome, man who took over my tab. Peter, very nice. Made me feel good to be flirted with and then his friend Chris started flirting with me too. Made me wonder what would have happened if I had gone there in a dress and not grunge down into a vest and jeans. But we were all drinking, flirting, have a good ol’ time until Peter and I were getting ready to leave. Don’t know what sparked

“I can’t believe you roped me into this Tony.” I hissed and pulled the camouflage uniform away from my neck. “Sorry Kat, it seemed like a good idea at the time.” He whispered, his small frame shivering slightly as we crept down the hallway. “Well, I was stupid enough to follow you.” I put my hand out to stop him, footsteps were getting closer and we quickly turned around and ducked into a small alcove as the footsteps turned another way and faded out. “Still,” I breathed a sigh of relief. “We need to get out of here now and away from this place.” “Yeah,” Tony nodded. “The door should be thirty feet from here on the right.” We stepped into the hallway again, ears straining to hear the smallest sound and we carefully picked our way to the door. Tony pulled a small bottle of WD-40 from his pocket and shot the hinges. We didn’t know if they’d creak or not but always better to be safe when hatching an escape plan. The door opened without a sound and we slipped off into the twilig

I saw some reviews on a few places to drink: Apothecary Louge: not cheap, dress code, but located on top of a haunted old hospital! I badly want someone to go with me, dress up and just have a good time! Of course that means finding a dress... oh I do so ever LOVE playing pretend!!! Charlie's Back Door: cheap, dark, hole-in-the-wall place that boasts a Scottish/New Mexico theme. God I wanna go but I hate attending places alone. I was thinking of taking the Dumb-dumb with me, but seriously, if I talk to him again I think I might sucker punch him into the next century. I don't wanna ask Little Bit, Bear is out of state, Dragonfly is busy, Little John will get the wrong impression, Henny's wife won't let him, Rabbit is depolyed, Buu is back in Callie... v.v so I am thinking a Strictly Platonic post on CL. I just want a drinking buddy!! Chat, text or whatever, but maininly..... Oh... I forgot about Princess Di... I wonder if she'd have the money to go with m

She hugged herself against the cold chill that crept up her body though a warm wind swam past her. "I don't want to hear it anymore." she said to the man following her. He stopped, his red hair spiking up in the wind and he frowned. "But I'm here now," he pleaded. "I'm here, and I love you. I've always loved you, I knew I loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you." He smiled fondly at the memory. "You were lying there in my bed, curled up against a pillow, your body contorted in a way much like a cat that I assumed couldn't have been comfortable. You were beautiful, are beautiful, and I thought 'it's not right, it can't be true, the world doesn't stop spinning and time doesn't stop when you meet someone.' But it did when I saw you, and you had my heart. I brushed your hair away from your eyes as you slept, you turned into my touch and smiled, and at that moment you affectedly had my soul as well

Ah goodness, it’s been a while since I’ve written. What a time it’s been. The casita is being built out, when it is finished I’ll post the pictures of its phases. Saturday was spent painting the casita build out and Sunday was spent hiking with my cousins- a well work out, but I made newbie mistakes and suffered for it. Every time I go hiking I always go off trail, so I always expect to come back battered, bruised and scraped, that’s nothing new. But stupidly I went in a skirt and because I couldn’t spread my legs enough to get a good grip on a boulder (wow my mind hit the gutter as soon as I typed that out) I lost my footing and my holding and I fell backwards. Caught myself on a edge but off centered and fell back down another ledge. Jarred my right leg and got a huge bruise on the bottom of my heel. Ouch. Then while stepping into water isn’t too bad, I didn’t dry my shoes out like I should have and ended up chaffing my big toe so bad I got 4 blister, 2 each at the base of both big t

http://www.g4fon.net/ John sat at his desk, the past two weeks had been so slow at work that feared losing his job. All the interns did really, but he needed this job badly. The Iraqi war had taken a lot out of him and in the past year of being home this was the longest job he’d been able to retain. They were good to him, allowing his therapy dog to come to work with him; of course it wasn’t like they could really say no, a service dog is a service dog. Duke was laying on the floor, shoulder pushed into his calf reassuringly, always keeping the darkness at bay. “Did you get those inventory sheets done, John?” a voice over his shoulder asked. “Their in your inbox Gracie,” he responded to the young woman sitting at the desk behind him. “I did them four hours ago.” He smirked and felt a wad of crumpled paper hit his shoulder and he chuckled. “Are you still reading that book?” “No,” she said coyly and then snickered. “I have not read it all day, I have no progressed half way through

I got this picture of Artie some time ago, but just recently found it again. She is learning the command "hold this" and when I saw this it reminded me of a trend I saw back in my high school days where teenagers had binkies. I remember thinking, 'whats up with that?', people and their trends, very odd. Anyways, today is my last violin class until I get the money to go again. So expensive, but well worth it. Calluses are starting to form on my index and middle finger but I am so happy that I am finally learning that nothing like that matters. When I was growing up I always chewed my fingernails, I do not know what started it, but as an end result of having ‘cannibalized’ the fingers the nail bed suffered so that it’s short and always will be short. This makes it look very weird when the nails are growing out and for the longest time I hated it. But now it’s a tremendous help. I have heard of violinist breaking their strings because their nails are too long, even whe

Okay I am really loving knitting! I already have so many ideas in my head about what I want to make next- in fact I am thinking about just buying a bunch of needles and starting multipal projects. How very ADD of me. One such project is a poncho like the one below, notes, this is taken from http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEfall03/PATTponcho.html THIS IS NOT MY WORK- but it is fantastic. I was thinking about making it Tardis Blue, just one tone, and then stitching on a green moon and some a felt cat or two. If my sister wants it I'll give it to her but I'm not mentioning it to her just yet. Another idea is a Christmas stocking hat like below. But mine would be long and would have a bell or two attached at the end. Yet another idea was a tanktop, pretty much just a tube top really nd have the straps able to be buttoned on. I love all these ideas. Okay, my back is killing me, and I am hungry. I am off for today. To days to come, /ac

 My brother just laughed. "It's just not something I saw you doing." and began to walk away and threw over his shoulder "While also taking Violin Lessons... And STILL going to school." My response- "Meh," with a shrug. "I was bored." At that he turned around and just looked at me and I can only imagine what's going through his mind.... I spend a lot of time complaining about the instructors at ITT- and seriously, MOST of them are not up to par with what I expected at ITT. But the ones who are good- are really fucking good. They make up for all the shit that is put out by that scuzzy school. So I attend school full time- 3 classes a week, tons of homework, projects, studying and since I procrastinate a lot I do everything in a complex manner... XD Then there is Violin lessons, Mondays are not good days for free time- I go to work at 730-400, haul tail up to my teachers house and have Violin instructions from 430-515, then haul ta

Okay, time to vent: Everything has been feeling so very off lately. At Sunday night pool Turtle said out of the younger three I’m the only one with a restless spirit. I have been wanting to leave this place for so long, but I think I am down to the final fray of nerves I have of this place. Single people are slim pickings around here and everyone is boring me. People whom have never bored me before are boring me and I find myself dreaming of just picking up and leaving. I can’t do this anymore, my life is just getting stagnant. There is a ITT in Everett with a PM program. As well as Seattle… I was thinking of applying for a job in Reston, could attend ITT in Springfield but that’s a tad bit too close to Norfolk for me. Couldn’t be around that place, although a man in uniform is strikingly hot, just too close to old memories for me. and I don’t mean everyone, I just mean people I spend more than 15 minutes with at a time. My boredom is so vast that I am learning to knit for whoever’

Whoops, it sure has been a while since I've written, I was suppose to be writing every day! Outta sight outta mind eh? Ah well, what can you do about it? I have seen lots of people with tattoos of black birds on their bodies and I am the sort of person in which every tattoo has a meaning, has a purpose. So I asked a few people what their black birds mean and am just shocked by some of their answers "oh it just looks cool" "black like my soul" (that from a very genteel person who fancied himself a rebel) or they throw some sort of meaning into it that is from a religion or a mythology that isn't in their heritage. Don't get me wrong to each their own, but I still find it ridiculous that there are white people who worship "The Great Spirit" and use sweet grass and sage to 'bless themselves and their homes". But whatever... For a long time I've been contemplating this tattoo, and because everything has a reason, here is mine. I

Tonight is a brilliant, warm night, there is a slight breeze, the stars are shining, the night is just blissful. This is NOT a night to leave the casita door WIDE FUCKING OPEN!! Which, of course, I did as I went to chat with my landlady which, I know, is never a short chat. So we're chatting for the better part of an hour before I get out and come back to my abode and the first thing I see is a little wolf spider trying to haul ass out of my place- I kill it. Satisfied I turn to close the door and HOLY MOTHER OF A FUCKING .... *ahem*... peanut.... there is this HUGE FUCKING SPIDER just chilling by a bookend on the floor! It's like an inch long, 1/2 an inch wide and just sitting there!!! Honestly, I think it was a baby tarantula, but AJ will tell me for sure tomorrow. So I spray that thing with bug spray and it took a good 5 minutes for that fucker to die. Normally I don't have a problem with tarantulas but jesus this one scared me. NEVER IN MY CASITA!!!!! Now I'm al

I don't know, everything feels wrong, off, sad and messed up, and yet oddly content. Just launched a flying lantern, that, plus this evenings rain made me feel better. but still, something feels wrong. which sucks because Doctor Who started today. to days to come, /ac

Worked at Girls Night Out, then got to walk around the area, it was fun, but I am exhausted. Time to play Assassins Creed 2, shower and go to bed. :)

            and we continue … Dreams The silver light of the full moon splashed across the glass windows of the Red Crescent hospital. It had been two months since the desecration of the small village to the west, but the time spent was good. The little baby girl would, by some miracle, live; even the doctors had been shocked after they learned of her birth and her birthplace. They had destroyed that village for a reason, Doc had told them and swore them to silence. He stayed with her as they provided medical attention, tests and healing aide to her and then finally located a family for her. She'll be safe, they assured Doc, she'll want for nothing. And he left. Now standing out in the warm night, the moon just risen over the mountains in the east he looked around, not knowing what next to do. The Red Crescent doctors had given him clothes, a blanket and some basic necessities in a bag which he slung over his shoulder and remembered a phrase from a book he'd once read a

        So I was working on my spreadsheet and I was thinking to myself, Doc, how did you get your name? Why are you called Doc? Shouldn't your name be Ricky or Bobby or Vincent? I am always partial to Liam myself. What do you look like? Then in my mind I see a tattoo of the old 15 th century plague doctor beak-masks with the red eyes on a shoulder surrounded with burns that look like they came from acid, or fire or… caustic soda- lye! Then it comes to me, he doesn't have a name… Snippet: How Doc got his name. "Why do they call you the doctor?" Doc stopped and pondered for a moment. "Years ago I was wandering up north, looking for someone, or something, I don't remember which." He shrugged, set his bag down on the ground and sat under a tree. "Anyways, so there I am, up in the heavily occupied north and I had no idea a war was raging. I walked into this town, not even a town really, more like a little village. The buildings were charred, the groun